Episode #28: I Think I Missed Something

This past holiday weekend, The Brit was going to come down and hang out. We had been talking about this, but we didn’t have any specific plans. I had somewhat rough week emotionally and seriously thought about calling and canceling. I wasn’t ready to take the relationship with the Brit any further (as I figured he would want) and I was stressed about having someone to deter me from getting some things done around the house before I leave town.

I talked to the Bodyguard about this and he made me realize a few things, one of them being I was overreacting. The Brit has never asked for anything else except to spend time with me. So, I did not cancel. And I got a text around noon on Friday that he was on his way down.

After he got here, we chatted and tried to make plans. I found it frustrating that as I would suggest something, he would either say “It’s all about you… whatever you want” or say “That’s exactly what I want to do.” If you have an opinion, give it! So, we finally agreed on a movie but it took about another 20 minutes for us to decide where to see it and how to get dinner in. But, a plan was finally conceived!

We talk during dinner and he does ask how I’m doing with the divorce. So, we do talk about that some, but I really wasn’t comfortable with it, so I redirected the conversation to other “safer” topics.

After the movie came the big question… where was he sleeping? He took his bags and went to the guest bedroom. I’ll admit there was a sigh of relief. I offered pillows, sheets, etc. He made a side comment about how he loved my bed, but I didn’t get what he was hinting at. (It was late, I was tired…) Off to sleep I went.

I woke up the next morning and went for a run. While I was out, I saw The Brit running as well, but we were on opposite sides of a trail, so we couldn’t meet up. We chatted for a bit when he got back, complaining about the heat, etc. He showered and cleaned up as I cooled off and finished watching a TV. He fell asleep on the couch, so I decided to take this opportunity to run a few errands I needed to run and he had said he didn’t want to go. I was at the check-out at the pet store when my phone rang.

“Hey Brit… you woke up!”

“Yeah. Hey listen, I’m going to go back. It’s obvious you aren’t ready to be in a relationship..”

“Wait… what? Can you stop for a minute? Can you wait 20 minutes for me to get home?”

“(Sigh) Yeah, okay.”

I rush back to the house to find him sitting on the couch. According to him, I said something at dinner last night about being single, and he was confused and hurt because he thought we were together in a relationship. (HUH?) And then, he was getting mixed signals from me about whether I was excited to have him there. He then made a comment about the sleeping arrangements, and how my spare bed hurt his back and he wasn’t happy about that. I apologized for my comment, because I didn’t realize I had done that. I also explained that I was having a rough week emotionally, but that I was looking forward to hanging out with him, but then I reminded him that I told him I wasn’t ready for anything serious. I just gotten my divorce finalized. He agreed that it was also difficult being 500 miles apart. He said he didn’t want to waste my time as he gave me a hug and then he walked out the door.

So, no more Brit. I’m bummed because I did like him and enjoyed talking to him, but apparently, I was missing all the signs that he was giving about being in a more serious relationship with him. And, if that’s the case, I’m very okay with that. Lesson learned.